This is the story of how I met my B’sherta (a wonderful Yiddish word which means “meant to be” or predestined). It is a story my wife often tells to discouraged widows or divorced people who are waiting for the right person to come along. It makes them smile and gives them encouragement. This is about a series of events that enabled my wife and me to meet and correct something that happened over 50 years ago.
On March 16, 1953 my happiness and elation were doubled. I had received my acceptance to Boston University, my future alma mater. It was also the Saturday that I had a double date with my friend Joel and two girls who were destined to play important roles in my life. I had been looking for an introduction to a then-nameless-to-me girl who I passed every day between classes in New Utrecht High School, in Brooklyn,N.Y. For some time I had been smitten by her fresh-scrubbed beautiful face. My classmate Carole greeted her one day and I asked her the name of the girl she had just spoken with and to please get me her telephone number. Carole said she would, and advised me to ask a friend to go out with her cousin Paula who was acquainted with the girl I was interested in. I was sixteen years old and the girls were fourteen. Double dating was the style at that tender age.
When Joel and I called for the girls I thought to myself that they were both beauties. I could have gone for either one of them. However, my mind was set as I had promised myself that someday I was going to marry the gal I was first attracted to. (Neither Paula nor Joel remember going out with each other, but they know it happened.)
I kept my vow and pursued my first love in an off-and-on relationship until I wore her down and married her six years later. Without going into unnecessary details for this story the marriage had its ups and downs and we were divorced almost 25 years later.
Going back to the early times in high school, I maintained my friendship with Carole and Paula who lived two streets away from me in a two-family house. Paula and I dated from time to time. I taught her how to drive a car and she even visited me for a fraternity weekend at B.U.. I always had on her on my mind as someone who was very special.
We all got married in 1959 and I lost track of the cousins Carole and Paula.
I like to think that coincidences are minor miracles planned by God. In 1967 I developed an inguinal hernia. I saw the surgeon and arranged to have the operation in late August. I lived in Brooklyn at the time and was going to have my surgery done at Maimonides Hospital. At the check-in time, 2PM on August 25th, I saw Paula on line to check in as well. We all exchanged greetings and I learned that Paula was also there for a hernia repair. She had just moved to Port Washington and hurt herself pushing around big boxes. Her uncle was a physician at that hospital and she elected to be treated there. In 1967 hernia repair involved a full week stay at the hospital. (Today they’d probably do it in the hospital parking lot with one foot on the ground while you are half out of the car door.) I told Paula that I would call her in a few days to see how she was doing.
We spoke on the hospital phone and brought each other up to date on our lives. She did not reveal to me that she was personally disappointed in her own marriage, nor did I reveal that I was totally miserable. After much soul searching in my hospital room I knew I had made a bad choice and that I had married the wrong girl. When I came home from the hospital I went on with my life and we had no further contact.
In the mid 1970’s when my kids were going to a sleep away camp in Pennsylvania, I saw Paula and her family at the bus departure point as well as on visiting day. We all said our hello’s and went about our business. This happened two years in a row and it was nice to see her. It was another part of the miracle growing. I admired her from afar and kicked myself for letting her slip through my fingers.
My own nest was empty at home as my kids were all away and my marriage was as empty as the house was. We both went to lawyers and were tied up in the system for almost five years.
One evening I was waiting in line at the Jade King restaurant in Roslyn, which was not a place I frequented. A voice behind me called my name and I turned around and saw Carole with her husband. Years later she told me that was the first time they ate there and they did not know what made them go that evening. I asked her where Paula was and how she was doing.
Carole told me that Paula was divorced for some years and worked for a dentist in the area. She was concentrating on working and keeping her house while bringing up her children. I told Carole of my own unhappiness, and that I was trying to negotiate a divorce.
One day, when God and I were ready, I found myself staring at the office building in which Paula worked on Northern Boulevard. I went to the very first dental office and asked if a “Paula” worked there. I was assured that I was at the right place and that she was off that day. I hastily scribbled a note on my business card. She called me the following day and was happy to hear from me. I told her where I was at and she asked me if I tried everything to try and save the marriage; it seemed as if she was trying to dissuade me from my course. I replied that it was over.
During the next months we spoke on the telephone and got reacquainted. We had not seen each other for over fourteen years despite the fact that I had moved to East Hills in 1972 and she lived in Port Washington. One Saturday morning I took the plunge. I called from the phone booth right outside of her office building and told her after a minute or two where I was. I think that I wanted to see her off guard and see how the years had treated her. She invited me in to say hello. We both were delighted to finally see each other after all these years and were pleasantly surprised with how we looked to each other. I truly believe we fell in love over the phone because we knew each others’ values and there was no game playing.
A short time after this I wanted to see where she lived and only knew the name of the section of Port that she lived in. I saw a car in a driveway that had the right set of college stickers on the rear window. I called her on the telephone and told her that I was nearby and she invited me in for lunch. Paula whipped up a sardine platter that looked like it came out of a woman’s magazine. I kissed her hello that day when I came into the house and felt something magic. I sat down in the den and pensively looked out of the window at the pouring rain
Paula asked what was on my mind. I blurted out, “ Are you going to marry me?” Instantly she replied, “Of course I am.” When I left that afternoon, I discovered the giant puddle that forms in front of that house whenever it rained. Paula was on the porch and I started to splash and dance in the puddle giving my best imitation of Gene Kelly in “Singing In The Rain.” Paula laughed along with me and said that she always admired my sense of humor and ability to laugh at myself. Rain has always brought me good luck (and lots of tomatoes as well),
We were finally able to get married in 1990 and did so in March at the George Washington Manor in Roslyn. We shared our joy with our extended family and friends, and said our own vows. Our Rabbi married us in a very touching ceremony.
The wedding was seventeen years ago and our lives together have been one big blessing. We thank God every day for each other and that we were brought back together by some mysterious forces. I am not sure if it was caused by the hospital stay, the camp meeting, by seeing cousin Carole (as she is called by us these days) at the restaurant, or by whatever power led me to her doorstep. Paula always told her friends that if she ever remarried it would only be to someone she knew and trusted from the past. Paula and I are still best friends and favorite company, inseparable companions and lovers. I still open the car door for her and feel like I am out on my first date every time we go out. I am totally smitten by her charm and talents. She is a beautiful lady who people are charmed by. I feel like we met yesterday and yet it feels like forever. I pray that we love each other as we do now forever in decent health.
I retired from the heating oil business seven years ago and Paula retired five years prior to me. We spend our time in Port Washington and in Florida both in active adult communities. We have five children and six grandchildren between us.
The frosting on the cake is that Paula’s Mom and my Dad lived to dance with each other at our wedding and see something happen that they had speculated about nearly 40 years earlier. My father said to Paula’s mom in a basement in Brooklyn when he was there on business, “Wouldn’t it be nice if our kids got together.”
We did and it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment